The Blog of Porl Coalition Special: Lessons in getting along

As we gear ourselves up for a coalition government in the UK, many questions are being asked on how this is going to work, and how two parties with such differences will be able to work together in the months and even years ahead. As of today, we have a hybrid government.

You might say Porl is something of an expert on hybridism, and by extension, coalition. For the sake of the article, I will say he is. Perhaps we can learn from Porl’s simple existence ways that the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats might put aside differences and lead us into a glorious new decade. Let’s look at some of the day-to-day differences in interest that Porl’s opposite ends encounter before he’s even got up in the morning:

  1. With his head equiped to hunt and eat only small insects, how does he sustain his relatively huge body?
  2. If his head is cold-blooded and his body warm-blooded, does it change somewhere suddenly in his neck, or is it all lukewarm all the time? Does his body move faster than his head? Is he ‘tepid-blooded’?
  3. How can Porl successfully pilot his whole self from such a wee head with such beady little eyes?

Such dilemmas! And yet Porl is almost 10 years old and thriving. Gather round, I will share with you his secrets that we might learn from them:

  1. His tail is an excellent fly swatter, the head can therefore access enough tasty insect prey to keep him cavorting in his paddock by snatching up all the bugs that the tail deftly swats at his face. Lesson for the Government: David Cameron or Nick Clegg may be forced to swallow whatever is wafted their way from the other’s backside from time to time, but they must seek the nutritious in whatever comes their way to keep things moving along, and uh, regular.
  2. Porl’s blood is made of liquid compromise – it runs at a middling temperature at once suited to his body’s active muscles and also warm enough to power his little head even when at rest. However, he does need to slow down from time to time to recuperate, or to bask in his own glory. Lesson for the Government: It doesn’t pay to be too hot-headed, even in Parliament. Filtering manifestos through cold and hot ends of the temperature spectrum may yet provide quite a stable happy medium, even if it only excites the nation as much as tepid bath water.
  3. Porl uses his movement-oriented lizard vision to drive his horsely body in a direction beneficial for him as a whole, resulting in a locomotion that takes on the steady, determined movement of a lizard, at a speed and scale more akin to that of a horse.  Porl loves to dance, you see. Lesson for the Government: While David Cameron will doubtless bring force and drive to the party, Nick Clegg may have to employ his progressive, movement-aware vision to purposefully steer the Conservative horse should it begin to lurch or skitter away from anything it perceives to be dangerous, or foreign.

There you have it! Some hope for a marriage of disparate components. Now we watch and wait, kids, watch and wait, and enjoy this lovely harmonious Porl, slightly reminiscent of the current way of things… blue and yellow with hints of red and green, and a serious but neutral expression giving nothing away.

Porl by Petra

Interesting times.

Artist: Petra.

The author would like to thank Stan for his (mostly) beautiful input into the analogies.

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