How to care for a pet Porl

It occurred to me that if there were such a thing as a pet Porl, there are very few resources available to help one care for it. This brief guide has been adapted from Caring for Porls, available from all good bookshops.

Initial considerations for any would-be Porl owner

• Owning a Porl is a long term commitment.
• Whilst a Porl itself may be inexpensive, the equipment needed to properly care for him may cost many times more than the Porl itself.
• Although Porls can adapt to a variety of foods, they function best with a steady diet of strawberry laces. You may want to check local availability before acquiring your Porl.
• Be aware that all reptiles can carry Salmonellabacteria. Thankfully the risk is somewhat reduced since Porl is only partially reptile.
• Find out how large your Porl will get as an adult. Of course there are some known to get no bigger than a regular dog, but these are not the norm. Most Porls need quite a lot of space to roll around in.

Choosing your Porl

Get a captive bred Porl from a reputable breeder, if possible. Wild caught Porls tend to be more stressed and prone to parasites and disease, and more difficult to tame.

Porls for Beginners

If you are new to Porls, start with one of the easier species to care for and handle. All of the following are suitable for beginners:

Stick Porl. The stick Porl is cheap and cheerful and ideal for new Porl enthusiasts. It does not usually have eyes but what it lacks in substance it makes up for in personality.

No-legged Porl. These Porls are the least mobile and are therefore unlikely to run away.

Porl in a box. By far the least demanding of the Porls, this beast requires very little in the way of interaction or training. Ideal for young children or to brighten up the ambience in a school or small office.

Extrovert Porl. With minimal training, this beautiful little breed will be singing and dancing in no time. A must-have for Christmas!

Porls for Experienced Owners

In this category, Profound Porl is the most poorly misunderstood. They can be wonderfully thoughtful pets but require a good deal more space and care than a lot of owners expect. Some Porls that more experienced owners might want to consider:

Angry Porl. As the name suggests, this breed of Porl is the most vicious and dangerous, on a par with Rottweilers and Bengal cats. You may require a license to own such a Porl.

Profound Porl. The most unique of all the Porls, the Profound Porls come in a variety of shapes and sizes and due to their unique disposition are often prone to episodes of depression and self doubt. They require a lot of patience and understanding and are not suitable for those with a busy lifestyle.

Many-legged Porls. Converse to the No-legged Porls, these ones are lively and always attempting an escape. As such, they are only recommended to those with a good history of Porl keeping.

Antiporl. Not recommended.